Friday Mythical Creature of the Day - The Green Man

Bryan had seen many things in Totville that irked him, but none caused as much rage as seeing that eagle burn the tree. There would be vengeance! Out went the cry for blood, and many of the woodland creatures heeded the call. On they swarmed to Totville. Onward for justice!

Animal of the Day - Fish Eagle

Percival soared overhead, screeching, "Glory to Flappus, death to the Footed! Glory to Flappus, death to the footed!"

Then, "Glory to Flappus, death to the footed!"

Then he set fire to full-scale effigy of the non-denominational "Chordata Day Tree".

Animal of the Day - Pebble Toad

The religious riots started entirely by accident. Wilkes had climbed to the top of the non-denominational "Cordata Day Tree" to put the "Vertibrae Ornament" at the top.

But Wilkes slipped and tumbled. Dow, down he fell, bouncing off of the branches and twigs, punching through the nearby Holy Ice Sculpture of Flappus. Wilkes was unscathed, but Flappus' beak had been cracked beyond repair.

A hundred feathers and wings were soon in an uproar, with violence certain to follow.

Animal of the Day - Crab-Eating Fox

Francisco was released from prison just in time for the holidays. He didn't know where else to go, but his friend "Canny"Marcel on the inside had recommend that he go to the town of Totville, where work was always plentiful. If he Francisco didn't feel like going straight, he could always go work for the local crime boss, Olympus Mons.

But as he arrived in Totville, the wamth of the holiday season overtook him. And what was this? A "Cordata Day Feast"? How splendid!

And yet, as his heart began to thaw, he spied a large crowd of birds- of all sizes and colorations- picketing the tent site on behalf of their god Flappus.

Oh, how Francisco hated Flappus! This could not be tolerated...

Animal of the Day - Short-Tailed Shrew

Though not an aggressive animal by nature, Morgan felt a growing outrage at the manner in which the Flappusites were turning the non-denominational "Chordata Day Feast" into something distinctly religious. Would this "Annual Feathering" replace the "Walking of the Footed"? Would the "Wind Song" replace the "Spiney Tango"?

And if Flappus came, then what sort of door would that open? Morgan had left her family and home village to escape the small-minded fundamentalists of Chewcifer. She would not abide this sort of thing in her new home.

Animal of the Day - Rock Pigeon

Hermy found strength and comfort in the growing religion of Flappus. Insults had been heaped on him his entire life: "Flying Rat", "Disease Bird", and "Ugly Hermy".

But no more! Flappus showed that Flight Makes Right. Soon the masters of the sky would be the kings of the earth, and no Heavyfoot would stop them.

All glory to Flappus and His Wingter Festival!

Friday Mythical Creature of the Day - Tsurube-otoshi

Even Masaru got into the holiday spirit, taking off the entire month of December from his usual practice of scooping men and beasts up into the trees to devour them. The winter was always a time for tofu experimentation.

Animal of the Day - Tiger Quoll

Mr. Rotobunn was facing an unusual level of stress in deciding the theme for this year's Animalia Holiday Spectacular. He had hoped to revisit the traditional, non-denominational "Chordata Day Feast", wherein all of the animals with spines would gather for food and dancing.

This year, however, the damned Flappers were making a row about things. They wanted their Flappus god to have his representation ina very long, very boring service about the weightyness of life and the importance of being feathered. It was causing undue tension.

Oh, how he often wished he could devour all of their faces with warm milk and fall into a delightful sleep. But that would defeat the "Chordata Day" spirit.

Animal of the Day - Death's Head Moth

Things had settled down in the weeks after the election, but would not remain calm for long. It was time for Milgrim and his crew to start cleaning up the city's auditorium in preparation for the Animalia Holiday Spectacular.

Mr. Rotobunn would soon announce the theme, and then the chaos would begin.

Animal of the Day - Zebra Longwing

It was the responsibility of Guidance Councilor Hernandez to announce the final results of the election. Clearing his throat and whispering into school intercom, he stated that- to no one's surprise- Splendiferous the Unicorn had secured victory. Long may she reign!

Overnose and Middlenose sat with Manfred on the far side of the school. The Buffalo was distraught, but not entirely surprised. This was how life went.

And yet the moles were suspicious of this uni-horn unicorn. Where had she come from? What were her true purpose. They were not true detectives like uncle noseworthy, but they could sniff out the suspicious...

Friday Mythical Creature of the Day - Tengu

With all of the hubbub surrounding the school election, no one noticed the first of the Flappus Priests arriving in town, recently exiled from the Turtle Emperor's kingdom.

Animal of the Day - Yak

Sergei understood Manfred's desire for order and reason, but in his homeland he had seen many quadrapeds slaughtered mericlessly for the sake of deliciousness. Reason would not last while man's insatiable hunger endured! Strength is what mattered! Power!

And in the unicorn he saw this power! That horn! That sheen! When it shook Sergei's hoof it looked him in the eye, he saw a protector! An agent of purity! Never again would he feel threatened. The sad events of Yaklavia would never be repeated. Not with Splendiferous in charge.

Animal of the Day - Oryx

On the day of the election, Maxwell was absolutely terrified of making the wrong decision. He asked around, and was told that anyone who was ANYONE was voting for the unicorn.

Maxwell fell into line, like so many others. Even though he thought that having only one horn was weird.

Animal of the Day - Ostrich

Nurse Nipper urged the school to hire more medical staff, in case Gertie made good on her threats. She also prominently added her name to a petition condeming Gertie, sponsored by the "Margaret Mead High School Anti-Slashing League".

The League was controlled by a non-profit called the "Non-Slashening Society", which in turn was owned by "Spearhoof Amalgamated". That company, in turn, had a certain "Splendiferous" on the board of directors....

Animal of the Day - Stonefish

Marina was so moved by Yar-Shuggoth's speech at the debates that she was determined to spread the word far and wide of his candidacy. Sadly, this counted for little, as she had the habit of accidently poisoning any who came near.

Animal of the Day - Belgian Blue

The first attack ad was against Godwin the Warthog. It featured a testimonial from Darius, captain of the school weightlifting team. "I'm real strong and all I ever eat is grass and all I ever chew is cud," he intoned ominously.

"Now Godwin wants to outlaw vegetarian food and make it so I can only eat meat. It's like he WANTS Townville to win the next competition! Well, I got a message for you, Godwin. Why don't you eat ME?"

The commercial ended with a disclaimer warning the student body not to attempt to eat Darius. The message was funded and approved by "Friends of Splendiferous".

Friday Mythical Creature of the Day - Asmodeus

Music teacher Asmodeus was tired of all of this election talk. Auditions for "Guys & Dolls" were just a few weeks away, and Principal Eckley had not even granted him permission to use the auditorium. Truly, democracy was a curse. And Asmodeus knew a thing or two about curses.

Animal of the Day - Golden Mole

Middlenose was torn in her decisions, as family loyalties guided her vote towards Overnose. But who was this unicorn everyone spoke of? Apparently, it was quite something. And yet, unable to actually see it, Middlenose could smell only oats and manure in its presence. All of which seemed fairly unexceptional.

Animal of the Day - Vampire Moth

A substitute teacher from neighboring Horror's Hollow, Garth had little faith in the whole "democracy" craze. All that mattered was the strength of the blood was and the brightness of the flame. Also, perhaps an extension of teacher's union health benefits to subs, so that he could finally get that wing mended.

Oh, and maybe some dental coverage so that he could get his sucker stem shortened. Its weight made flying around somewhat unpleasant.

Animal of the Day - Greenshank Sandpiper

Julius normally didn't vote, and found that he couldn't really muster the effort to care much about this election. Maybe he was just depressed. The horn-horse seemed nice enough, though.

Animal of the Day - Syrian Hamster

Like so many, Yusuf was given a lot to think about at the debates. On the one hand, Gertie had done a decent job appealing to Yusuf's desire to not be killed. Godwin made a strong point about adding vegetarian fare to the cafeteria, though he had not addressed the controversial "wood chip" issue. The scary fish had said scary fish things, and then some cow with horns talked, but Yusuf mostly slept through that.

But the unicorn was most impressive of all. It had a natural charm, and it instinctively gained Yusuf's trust. Now THERE was a leader!

Friday Mythical Creature of the Day - Unicorn

Splendiferous bounded onto the stage and entranced the audience! Such sheen! Such horn! Golden eyes and silver hooves and a musk of honey! Who would vote for anyone else? Who could? Without even saying a word Splendiferous had won the hearts and minds of the voters.

And that was just was Splendiferous wanted. It was all falling into place...

Animal of the Day - African Buffalo

As Manfred took the stage, he did not exhibit the flash and presence of some of his competitors. He did not make outlandish promises. He did not have a catchphrase. Most shockingly, he did not sprinkle the voters with saccharine nothings to make them feel good about themselves.

What he promised was honesty, fairness, and hard work. It was for this reason that he would lose badly.

Animal of the Day - Monkfish

Yar-Shuggoth was not from Hell like so many in the school believed, but rather was from a warm place under the sea. And while he looked terrifying, he had many important policy issues that he would bring to the fore in his Presidency.

Hath not a monkfish scary teeth, asked Yar-Shuggoth. Catch him in your net, do you not toss him back into the sea? If he bites you, do you not contract a rare strain of hepatitus?

For certain, he did not do himself any favors with his speech.

(Photo Credit: Alexander Mayrhofer)

Animal of the Day - Cassowary

Gertie spoke next. Her primary campaign promise was that, if she won, she would not run amuck through the hallways of the school while clawing and scratching at everyone she encountered. It was a strong platform, and many were convinced.

Animal of the Day - Warthog

Godwin was the first candidate to speak at the debates. He promised an end to any vegetarian fare on the lunchline, and replace each meal with only of heaping piles of meat. He also promised to viciously gore the mascot of neighboring Townville High School: The Fighting Flytraps.

Friday Mythical Creature of the Day - Pazuzu

Political science teacher Pazuzu agreed to moderate the debates. All truths would be revealed and all failures would be punished. The impure of heart would burn in the naked light of the flame, and there would be no extensions granted for term papers on the "Whiskey Rebellion".

Animal of the Day - Frog Fish

Chuntao took the electoral process very seriously, as there had been no democracy in her homeland where the Turtle Emperor reigned supreme. Next week would be the debates, upon which she would base her decision.

Animal of the Day - Blue-ringed Octopus

Normally an apathetic non-voter, Marla followed the year's school election very carefully. She wanted to know where the candidates stood on the contentious issue of multiple-pant leg discrmination.

Animal of the Day - Emu

Otto was suspicious and tenacious by nature, and it was these traits which had made him the best investigative journalist the school paper had to offer. He didn't trust the emerging candidates. He was determined to find out what games they were playing.

In the name of the bird-god Flappus, no one would eat his eggs!

Animal of the Day - Asp Viper

Toomey licked his lips and announced that he would be available as a campaign manager for the Presidential election. His experience was extensive, his successes impressive, his methods biting.

Friday Mythical Creature of the Day - Jackalope

Margaret would certainly have run for Class President, if she actually existed.

Animal of the Day - Golden Beetle

Croesus felt entitled to the presidency, and dismissed any potential competitors. For he had been born with a silver spoon in his mouth, but soon rejected it for being so base a metal.

Animal of the Day - Peacock Mite

An exchange student from the tropics, Eusebio had little experience with stable democracy, and feared that the coming student government election would lead only to violence and revolution.

Animal of the Day - Star-Nosed Mole

First up to announce his candidacy for class President was Overnose, Noseworthy's nephew. Though well-intentioned, ambitious, and intelligent, the sad fact remained that he was far too hideous for public audience. He would have to content himself with working out of sight, beneath the surface of things, as moles are wont to do.

Animal of the Day - Brown Hyena

The dust had not yet settled on President Heathcliff's resignation, when Myers was already petitioning for a new election for Class President. Not for him, of course, as the hyena was well aware how inherently unlikable he was. But Myers was a dealmaker above all things, and times like this were his animal carcass and butter.

Friday Mythical Creature of the Day - Cerberus

The cheating scandal reached its nadir when Mildred (the right-most head) was found to have purchsed a number of term papers to finish her AP History and AP English classes. She had always been the dark horse head of the three, and now her actions would prove catastrophic to Class Treasurer Wendell (left-most head) and Class President Heathcliff (center head).

Both would have to step down from their posts because of the actions taken by Mildred, and the shame would severely harm their chances of getting into prestigious Brainy University. The air was heavy with regret.

Animal of the Day - Striped Skunk

Stefan and Emelio had seen many, many terrible things onthe job. Horrible things. Disgusting things. But it was all part of being a janitor at the high school. And while they could have shed some valuable light on the Term Paper Scandal which threatened to tear the school apart, they had long learned to lay low in times of crisis.

Besides, they hardly had time to speak to the authorities with all of the practising they needed to do for the town's Halloween Talent Show.

Animal of the Day - White-Necked Raven

Edgar was the first casualty of the cheating fiasco. A top-notch student and equipment manager of the Falconry team, he liked to joke that he was always high up in the "pecking order".

But now, of course, he was in a lot of trouble.

Animal of the Day - Clownfish

Butler was only trying to help his friends out, and didn't think that charging for old book reports and term papers would be so problematic. But, it turns out that it was, and so he was faced with the difficult dilemma of being forced to disclose the names of his clients to Principal Eckley.

There would be consequences. No clowning around about that. After the list was disclosed, he went into hiding.

Animal of the Day - Atlantic Canary

With the school year barely two weeks old, Cody was busted for turning in a plagarzied paper that Mr. Shockley had seen handed in every year for the past 5. Having much to lose, Cody immediately started singing. Soon, Principal Eckley knew where he had gotten it, how much he had paid, and who else was was a customer.

Very soon, the reverberations of his song would shake the entire school.

Animal of the Day - White-Necked Raven

Friday Mythical Creature of the Day - Vampire

After losing his job at the High School, Mr. Vlad taught night classes at the local learning annex. His rules were extensive: No crucifixes, no flashlights, no garlic breath, no trips to the water fountain and no scarves. The only true rule would turn out to be "no students".

Animal of the Day - Jumping Spider

Nurse Silkwood prepped her web hammocks and grudingly prepared for another school year. Age had made her weary in mind, while multi-limb arthritis made her weary in body. She wouldn't even be doing this anymore if her retirement web hadn't been destroyed when someone unexpectedly opened a door that had long been shut.

Animal of the Day - Pig

Coach Oinkley began his 5th year running the school's football program. It was going to be a promising year for the "Fighting Humans" at Margaret Mead High School. Eckley was making him teach a basic history class for some reason, but it wasn't a big deal.. He still had his old lesson plan for when he first started. And if it turned out that anything had changed in the world, he'd just get his linebackers to lean on a couple of nerds and have them update the curriculum.

Animal of the Day - Electric Eel

Mr. Shockey was in his first year of teaching Environmental Science at the high school. Though young and eager, it was only a matter of time until he lost his spark.

Animal of the Day - Hippopotamus

Principal Eckley had to contend with yet another year of budget cuts, which she was not eager to do. Music and theater classes would naturally have to do more with less. Her office mud pit, however, was not going anywhere.

Friday Mythical Creature of the Day - Tree Ent

Once Mr. Pinebaum became Vice Principal, he decreed that the school would cease all shop classes.

Animal of the Day - Red Eyed Tree Frog

Todd was very nervous about his first day at school. Perhaps it would not be as bad as his thousands of older brothers had promised.

Animal of the Day - Earthworm

Mr. Peidmont returned from his summer adventures with many tales to share with his Environmental Science class. One of his students was kind enough to bring him an apple on the first day of class, in which he took a nap at lunch.

Animal of the Day - Rainbow Crab

Cecil was quite nervous about his first day of school, but had been assured that freshman hazing was not as bad as he feared. Besides, being stuffed in a locker would be just like wearing another shell.