Criminal of the Day - Murderer!

"Yes, it was me," shrieked Ms. LePlume. "I spent my entire professional life serving that ant! I fought my way up from lowly zoo bird to highly party bird! For what? To have it all ruined with the invitation of DISGUSTING satyrs and filthy Leprechauns! Shame! Oh, shame!"

"Tell it to the Squid-Judge," said Noseworthy.

Ms. LePlume ran to the window and jumped, "Never!"

A strong gust caught her under the belly. It seemed, at first, as if it might carry her straight to the Land of Glitter that she always imagined was just beyond the horizon. But this was folly. She could no more fly then her peacock cousins could swim.

Atop the lighthouse, Manfred the Pelican watched Ms. LePlume tumble onto the rocks below. As the tide washed her broken body out to sea, he wondered absently when he was scheduled to teach his first class of the semester at the university.

The Culprit!!!

Noseworthy opened the door atop the lighthouse, guns drawn and senses a-flutter. And it was there, they found the creature that hired Canny Marcel for his foul work...

Or, as Noseworthy would later quip... his "fowl" work!

Animal of the Day - Raccoon

Gerald had only been hired as the lighthouse watchman two days earlier, so he didn't know what the proper procedure was when the police demanded entry. Ultimately, he didn't put up much of a struggle. The job was only a means to an end so he could pursue his passion for the sousaphone.

Friday Mythical Creature of the Day - Hydra

Charles-Frank-Steve-Mark-Dave-Henry-Lance had grown bored with the question of who had killed Auntie Clerq. His/their attention had turned to the "Back to School" sales which were going on.

Charles-Mark-Dave wanted to sign up for a Latin class this fall, while Henry-Lance-Steve was/were more interested in Poly Sci. Frank, of course, just wanted to watch television.

Animal of the Day - Bonnet Macaque

Canny Marcel the assassin found himself surprisngly relieved when Noseworthy finally caught up to him. He had grown weary of his life of paranoia and criminality, and yearned for a long rest. He agreed to cooperate with Noseworthy in exchange for full immunity for all admitted crimes. Noseworthy said that this would all depend on what Canny Marcel had to say...

He had indeed killed Auntie Clerq, crushing her with a rock while posing as a delivery monkey. But he had not done this of his own volition. A mysterious person or persons had paid him handsomely. In fact, he was scheduled to meet his employer for payment at the old lighthouse by Lake Overcoat.

The meeting was in a matter of hours. Noseworthy had little time to waste.

Animal of the Day - Blue Jay

Simon at first tried to play the hardcase, but this was not in his nature. Faced with even the most remote chance of incaceration, he immediately told Noseworthy all that he knew.

An unidentified individual had contacted him shortly after Auntie Clerq's party had begun, asking to be put in touch with someone who could "get things done". That thing, in this case, being murder!

Simon had facilitated the meeting, for that is what he did best. While the identity of the client remained hidden and anonymous, he certainly could provide the name of the assassin he had paired them with: Canny Marcel, formerly of the circus.

Animal of the Day - African Bush Elephant

The notorious crime lord Olympus Mons took his time coming into the foyer to see Inspector Noseworthy. He did not, as a matter of principal, move particularly fast for anyone. At first Mons pretended not to see the Inspector, but as the Inspector could not himself see Mons, it made for an awkward attempt at awkwardness.

Olympus Mons was suspected of a savannah's worth of crimes, from trampling, to goring, to grand theft peanut. But he considered himself a Businessphant above all else. And the Inspector presented him a wonderful opportunity to strike a blow to the competition.

He informed Noseworthy that he was not involved in Auntie Clerq's sad ending, pompous and trifling though she was. But a little birdie told him that a little birdie told a little monkey to drop a big rock on a little ant.

The elephant suggested that Noseworthy speak to the second little birdie, which could lead him to the little monkey.

Animal of the Day - Snowy Egret

Olympus Mons' lawyer was a crafty bird named Madison, a partner at the prestigious Finch, Stork and Pelican firm. She greeted Inspector Noseworthy at the door to the estate, and laid down the ground rules for this interview.

There was to be no discussion of any other alleged criminal activities undertaken and/or overseen by her client. Eye contact was not to be made with her client. And above all, no mice were to be allowed into the interview with her client.

Noseworthy agreed to the terms. In all likelihood, Mons was not the guilty party, but was instead a canny trafficker of information. It was time to smell things out.

Friday Mythical Creature of the Day - Dwarf

Captain Doublebeard called Inspector Noseworthy and demanded to know what the status of the case was. Thbe press was on his back and Mayor Grumpy was breathing down his neck. "Close the case," he commanded.

Noseworthy largely ignored the Captain, as was the standard procedure in such cases. He called Olympus Mons' people and told them he was coming over for a chat...

Animal of the Day - Doberman Pinscher

Klara put on a brave face, but Noseworthy could smell the fear. Within time, he was able to extract all the details...

Klara's brother suddenly incarcerated. A loan taken out for bail. No collateral, so other sources investigated. Local loan-shark and crime boss Olympus Mons all too eager to help. Klara, unable to pay the debt, is forced to stoop to favors to even the scales.

A dubious delivery-monkey with a shady satchel of bountiful boulders. Sign the sheet, allow him in, no questions asked.

A scent of lavender on the assassin....

Klara was reduced to tears by the time Noseworthy finished. But it was nothing he had not seen before. Time for a visit to the judge. A warrant was needed. A promising lead to investigate.

Animal of the Day - Komondor

Naturally, Ibolya could see very little. She recalled the smell of lavender quite well, as it reminded her of when she used to frolic with the bears.

It was coming from the rhesus monkey delivery man, the one that brought that bag of rocks into the house. Klara, Guard of the South Wing, signed for it.

Ibolya then went to search for cousin Janos, whose tended to overindulge with sweets during times of stress. To damage his teeth after all the work he just had done on them would be the REAL crime.

Animal of the Day - German Shepherd

Ernst didn't know anything, having been engaged in the sisyphean struggle of tail-chasing which had consumed his adult life.

He did remember catching a scent of lavender before the incident, coming from the other end of the mansion. Perhaps Ibolya, Guard of the Western Wing, might have seen something.

Animal of the Day - Shar Pei

Walt, Auntie Clerq's Guard of the Northern Wing, had also not seen anything, having failed to pin his eye lids open that day. He was not very good at his job.

He suggested that Ernst, Guard of the Eastern Wing, might know more.

Friday Mythical Creature of the Day - Chimera

While waiting in the courtyard with the other guests, Giuseppe loudly declared that he "was no snitch" and that he had six eyes "that all ain't seen nothing".

While hyperbolic, it was also true. He had not seen anything that could help the investigation. Giuseppe had been yearning for attention since his pet rock went missing.

Animal of the Day - Sarus Crane

Dr. Dinesh the Coroner was found participating in the "Greenhouse Limbo War" on the far end of the party grounds. Inebriated and disoriented, he arrived on the scene and declared that the cause of death of was the rock that was laying on top of Auntie Clerq's body.

He then attempted to nibble on the corpse, so famished was he from limbo warring. Inspector Noseworthy had him escorted out of the room.

Animal of the Day - Giant Anteater

Ortiz naturally topped the list of suspects, but had a solid alibi. Besides, Auntie Clerq has been crushed, not devoured.

Animal of the Day - Mole

Inspector Noseworthy appeared with little fanfare and began searching the grounds for clues. Though he could not see very well, he had a fifth sense for this sort of thing.

Animal of the Day - Blood Hound

Officer Brendan arrived on the scene with his partner, Skippy. No one was to enter or leave the party until the Inspector arrived. The crime scene was sealed off.

It was all very well and good to exercise his authority, but Brendan would much rather have been playing cards.

Friday Mythical Creature of the Day - Satyr

Spiros had armful of outstanding warrants, a fistful of priors, and a handful of illicit substances hidden in his beard. If people were going to be so harsh as to kill the buzz by bringing Johnny Fuzz into the mix, it was time to skidaddle.

Animal of the Day - Yellow Bellied Weasel

Herman found this offensive.

Animal of the Day - Rooster

Retired Col. Schroder's old instincts always kicked in when panic was afoot. He ordered Miss Munson to call the police, and told everyone to stay away from the crime scene. By god, they would not descend to the level of Weasels!

Animal of the Day - Puli

Rumors began to flash through the party like the jagged fingers of a lightning storm. Was Auntie Clerq injured? Worse? Had someone called Dr. Paws? And where had so many of the birds gone to?

With so many distracted, Janos knew that the candy corn bowl was ripe for the taking...

Animal of the Day - King Penguin

Though he would feel guilty afterwards, Leopold's first thought upon discovering Auntie Clerq's crushed corpse was that he would finally be able to give up waitering and return home.

An August case...

of MURDER!!!