Animal of the Day - Yak

Sergei understood Manfred's desire for order and reason, but in his homeland he had seen many quadrapeds slaughtered mericlessly for the sake of deliciousness. Reason would not last while man's insatiable hunger endured! Strength is what mattered! Power!

And in the unicorn he saw this power! That horn! That sheen! When it shook Sergei's hoof it looked him in the eye, he saw a protector! An agent of purity! Never again would he feel threatened. The sad events of Yaklavia would never be repeated. Not with Splendiferous in charge.

Animal of the Day - Oryx

On the day of the election, Maxwell was absolutely terrified of making the wrong decision. He asked around, and was told that anyone who was ANYONE was voting for the unicorn.

Maxwell fell into line, like so many others. Even though he thought that having only one horn was weird.

Animal of the Day - Ostrich

Nurse Nipper urged the school to hire more medical staff, in case Gertie made good on her threats. She also prominently added her name to a petition condeming Gertie, sponsored by the "Margaret Mead High School Anti-Slashing League".

The League was controlled by a non-profit called the "Non-Slashening Society", which in turn was owned by "Spearhoof Amalgamated". That company, in turn, had a certain "Splendiferous" on the board of directors....

Animal of the Day - Stonefish

Marina was so moved by Yar-Shuggoth's speech at the debates that she was determined to spread the word far and wide of his candidacy. Sadly, this counted for little, as she had the habit of accidently poisoning any who came near.

Animal of the Day - Belgian Blue

The first attack ad was against Godwin the Warthog. It featured a testimonial from Darius, captain of the school weightlifting team. "I'm real strong and all I ever eat is grass and all I ever chew is cud," he intoned ominously.

"Now Godwin wants to outlaw vegetarian food and make it so I can only eat meat. It's like he WANTS Townville to win the next competition! Well, I got a message for you, Godwin. Why don't you eat ME?"

The commercial ended with a disclaimer warning the student body not to attempt to eat Darius. The message was funded and approved by "Friends of Splendiferous".

Friday Mythical Creature of the Day - Asmodeus

Music teacher Asmodeus was tired of all of this election talk. Auditions for "Guys & Dolls" were just a few weeks away, and Principal Eckley had not even granted him permission to use the auditorium. Truly, democracy was a curse. And Asmodeus knew a thing or two about curses.

Animal of the Day - Golden Mole

Middlenose was torn in her decisions, as family loyalties guided her vote towards Overnose. But who was this unicorn everyone spoke of? Apparently, it was quite something. And yet, unable to actually see it, Middlenose could smell only oats and manure in its presence. All of which seemed fairly unexceptional.